When We Grow Up
by Ying-Fa-dono
Summary: Two Hogwarts students contemplate what they would like to do when they leave school, and discover that their wishes come true, but not in the ways they had anticipated. One shot!


**Ying-Fa: Here's a little one-shot for you all. Something I've been wanting to do for awhile, so please tell me what you think!**

It was nearly the end of the school year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The exams had finally come to an end and the students were celebrating by spending the afternoon lying around outside, lounging in the warm sunlight. Not far from the lake, two fourth year students sat side-by-side, leaning back onto the grass so that the sun's light fell, warm and pleasant, onto their faces.

"How do you think you did on your exams, Sev?" the red-haired girl asked her companion, lazily.

"It wasn't that bad," replied the sallow-skinned boy sitting next to her. "The exams are never as horrible as they're made out to be. But we'll have O.W.L.s next year."

"Oh, that's right," said Lily, smiling. "Those determine what classes we have for the rest of school, right?"

Severus nodded. "You want to do really well in the classes that will help you to get the job you want when you get older."

Lily's smile faded a little. She looked over the lake, her brilliant green eyes blinking dispiritedly. Severus noticed her sudden change in mood and felt taken aback suddenly.

"What's the matter?" he asked, delicately.

"Oh," said Lily, heavily. "I…I was just thinking that…I…I really have no idea what I'm going to do when I leave Hogwarts. I've almost never thought about it. I mean, I know I never planned to stay here forever, but…" her voice trailed away.

Severus blinked. "You can do anything you want when you leave," he said. "You're brilliant in all our classes. You can have any job you could want."

"I guess," said Lily, sounding unconvinced. "Well, what do you plan on doing when you leave school, Sev?"

Severus didn't reply at once. He knew one thing that he'd like to do when he got out of school. Something very promising that he and several of his fellow Slytherins were thinking of doing. But he wasn't, however, going to tell Lily just what _that_ was. He knew that his fascination with the Dark Arts was something that Lily disapproved of.

"I…don't really know either," Severus said, quickly. "All I know is that I…I want to make a difference."

"Hm?" said Lily, puzzled.

"I want people to remember my name," Severus told her, softly. His black eyes were gleaming with a kind of secret determination. "I don't want to just fade into the background and be a nobody all my life. I want to do something worthwhile. I want to stand out."

Severus's dark thoughts swirled around in his head for a few minutes as he thought over what being a Death Eater would be like. All the power and glory that was promised for those who served He Who Must Not Be Named…the Dark Lord…the great dark wizard who was steadily rising to power…

Lily stared at him for a moment, perplexed by what he'd said. She didn't like it when Severus got that look in his eye. That look that only the Dark Arts seemed to give him. Wanting more than anything to distract him from his thoughts, Lily cleared her throat. "Are you alright, Sev?" she asked, sharply.

"What? Oh," Severus jerked out of his thoughts. "Y-yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Lily. So, you have no idea what you want to be when you leave Hogwarts?"

Lily looked down at the ground again, this time deep in thought. "Well," she said, slowly. "There was only ever one thing that I really wanted to be. Something I wanted to do since I was little, before I knew I was a witch."

"What's that?" Severus asked.

Lily closed her eyes in contemplation and then opened her eyes to look skyward, an odd, dreamy smile coming across her pretty face.

"A mother," she said, softly.

Severus blinked and stared at her, his eyes wide and his heart racing.

"I've always wanted to be a mother," Lily said, more to herself than to Severus. "My own mother did such a good job with me and Petunia. She's the kindest, neatest person I know, and she was so supportive when I found out that I could do magic. Part of me was scared she and Papa would hate me if they learned that I could do all those strange things because I was a witch. But she stayed by me. She was proud of me. I hope," Lily lowered her gaze again, smiling shyly. "I hope I can be just as good a mother to my children as my own mother was for me. To be married to someone wonderful and have a baby of my own…that's all I ever really wanted."

It was probably lucky that Lily was so deep into her reverie that she didn't notice the look that Severus was giving her. He gaped at her with a mixture of longing and greed in those dark eyes. He'd looked at her like that before, but never with such intensity as he did now.

Just then, the bell rang to signal the students to come in to dinner. Lily and Severus both snapped back to their senses and gathered their things to make their way to the castle. A couple of Lily's Gryffindor friends were calling out to her to come and join them.

"I'll see you later, Sev," she said, brightly, and made her way to the other Gryffindor girls.

Severus watched her go, saw her long curtain of red hair flying behind her as she ran, and felt a pang in his stomach.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Several years had passed when Severus Snape strode down Diagon Alley one gloomy, autumn day. He was standing in the shadowy, half-hidden road that separated Diagon Alley from Knockturn Alley, waiting to meet with Trevers and Nott about their most recent orders from the Dark Lord. He stared up the crooked street, noticed the closed shops and the few, random people who wandered by, afraid to travel the streets alone.

Just when he was thinking that the others couldn't be any later, he saw her. Snape's heart stopped for about five seconds. There was no mistaking that dark red hair. It was her. It was Lily. Lily Evans was on this street, having just emerged from Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions.

Without realizing what he was doing, he left the shadows, moving toward her, desperate to get a good look at her face. How long had it been since he'd seen her? Spoken to her? He hurried over, about to call out her name when he suddenly stopped dead.

Lily had paused to read a sign outside an apothecary. He could see her face, her brilliant green eyes, everything he knew so well, only slightly altered by age. But what attracted his attention most, was the slight bulge in the front of her robes. She was pregnant.

The sight made his breath freeze in his lungs. He had known that Lily was married. He'd seen it in the _Daily Prophet_, had seen her beaming in adoration at the one man he hated most. He'd never known what to make of Lily marrying James Potter. The woman he'd loved so dearly and the man he'd hated so much. Now, they were going to have a child together?

Lily took her eyes off the sign and started walking up the road towards The Leaky Cauldron. Snape was standing in the shadows of another shop, only barely out of sight. She was going to walk right by him on her way. He felt his heart racing. She was only few feet away. Dare he make a move to address her, the woman he hadn't seen in years but had thought about almost every day…?

She passed. Snape did nothing.

Snape watched her go, his insides aching. It was too late now, he thought. There was too much between them now. It was like she had said, all those years ago.

"You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Her boy survives. Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure…"

"DON'T! Gone…dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish…I wish _I_ were dead…"

"And what use would that be to anyone? If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Lily Potter had died a true mother. She had died, though she had not needed to. She died to save her child. She laid down her life to protect her son and managed to protect him for years to come, beyond the reach of death.

Severus Snape had died a man who had lived a worthwhile life. He, more than anyone, had risked his live to ensure the downfall of the Dark Lord. He had protected the Boy Who Lived, the son Lily had wanted so much, until the very end. And Harry Potter himself would be the one to make sure that wizards everywhere would remember his name.


End file.
